Urban Discoveries Baltimore

There are numberless reasons people have parties––birth, boredom, graduation, loneliness, marriage, and despair all come to mind. But every party is at bottom a way of setting something apart, whether that be a group of friends or an otherwise forgettable night. Regardless of the occasion, there are a few things that make the hosting of parties everywhere easier. In Baltimore, they work like this:

1. Booze. If you are hosting a dry party, then congratulations! Skip straight to #2. For all non-oxymoronic events, I prefer to use the Wine Source in Hampden (3601 Elm Avenue). In addition to anything that comes in a bottle, kegs filled with just about any beer you can think of also are available there, though you’ll need to place your order a few days in advance. Those of you who’ve waited till the hour before the party to arrange for a keg, try Harford Beverage Company in Parkville (7732 Harford Road) or Wells Discount Liquor in Lake Evesham (6310 York Road). Both have a selection that should distinguish your place from the frat house down the street.

2. Head. There are plenty of other slang terms I could use, but what matters is that if you’re throwing a real world-ender, then you may want to spare the house facilities. Ditto the creek running through your backyard. This is never an exciting phone call to make, but you’ll be glad later that you didn’t go with God: Gotügo. Yes, the name induces cringing, but these guys are pros. Plus they’re local (7355 Green Acres Drive, Glen Burnie).

3. Clean-up. Luckily we live in a city with weekly trash and (single-stream) recycling pick-ups, so unless your celebration left an aftermath of over four cans worth of debris, then you’re job is easy. Just don’t put your trash out before trash day, because the rats are on a very strict diet. And if you find you’ve got some bulky waste, like say a wicker chair somebody tried to stand on while delivering a toast, then call 311 and tell them what you’ve got. The city will actually collect the big stuff at no charge, but only if you ask nicely.

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